hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
