dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
