how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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