everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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