bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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