You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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