she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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