Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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