Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
