some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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