We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
