69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize