This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
