Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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