Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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