dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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