so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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