he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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