Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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