Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
