I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
