Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
