similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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