O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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