new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
