in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
too bad you live with your parents still
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
