he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
