Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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