6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So vagazzling was a success
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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