What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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