I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i think my cat just said my name.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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