I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
