I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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