the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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