Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
