If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize