Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
