Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
try to milk me bitch
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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