I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize