just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
