I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize