Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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