It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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