I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
