You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
