After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
