we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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