I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize