Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
