Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
