Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My balls are so social today.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize