do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
