And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
