oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
