So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
