a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Can you bring me the toilet please
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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