just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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