I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
