this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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