Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
