Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
