Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
