I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
