I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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