Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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