wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
